Nurse Ratched
11:25 Sat Jul 18
Re: If you had the biggest penis in the world would you be a dick.
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Yes, clearly I deserved a good raping.
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SecondOpinion
11:22 Sat Jul 18
Re: If you had the biggest penis in the world would you be a dick.
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Nurse Ratched 11:12 Sat Jul 18
So let me get this right......he suddenly appeared naked in front of you (what was he, a Chippendale on speed?) and you stayed in the same room?
No wonder blokes believe women are "up for it"
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SecondOpinion
11:22 Sat Jul 18
Re: If you had the biggest penis in the world would you be a dick.
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Nurse Ratched 11:12 Sat Jul 18
So let me get this right......he suddenly appeared naked in front of you (what was he, a Chippendale on speed?) and you stayed in the same room?
No wonder blokes believe women are "up for it"
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Willtell
11:22 Sat Jul 18
Re: If you had the biggest penis in the world would you be a dick.
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That's a story much like WHO. Long on content but all about a big cock. So you've seen a large penis and not been tempted. Surely too big a penis is a detriment to sex anyway? I wouldn't know being of an average size...
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Hammer and Pickle
11:21 Sat Jul 18
Re: If you had the biggest penis in the world would you be a dick.
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ffs Nurse.
Never had you down as a hippy.
(this takes my vote for WHO post of the decade by the way)
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Nurse Ratched
11:19 Sat Jul 18
Re: If you had the biggest penis in the world would you be a dick.
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Cholo - that was my would-be seducer.
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cholo
11:17 Sat Jul 18
Re: If you had the biggest penis in the world would you be a dick.
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I must confess.
I had to Google sensory homunculus.
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HairySpotter
11:15 Sat Jul 18
Re: If you had the biggest penis in the world would you be a dick.
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him being short and ur mate being tall must have been a funny sight to behold
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Nurse Ratched
11:12 Sat Jul 18
Re: If you had the biggest penis in the world would you be a dick.
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Years ago when I was living in Devon I had a good friend who met this bloke. She started seeing him 'romantically' even though she thought he was a prat because she wanted to buy his chopped down motorbike off him on the cheap. She invited me out with the pair of them to have a drink and then we went back to his place. I knew he was a wrong'un straightaway. He was showing too much interest in me, when he was supposed to be seeing my friend, so that didn't endear me to him.
I should say at this point he was one of the least attractive physical specimens I have ever seen. I am not usually one to be bothered much by prettiness in a bloke (it wouldn't normally put me off a bloke if he was ugly) but this bloke was horrible personality-wise, so I don't mind relating that he was the same height as me (5'2") had massive hands and feet and facially resembled an Uruk-hai from Lord of the Rings. Anyway, back at his bedsit he reveals an interest (weird, silly obsession) with native american indian culture. And, unfortunately, nudity. Which is how I got to see his bits. He had made (he said it was all his own handiwork) some Indian style belts and other stuff with tiny coloured beads. If he really did make them himself, they were pretty good, but even so this was an adult male making Injun costumes.
So at this point I am swigging Bacardi to dull the awkwardness and he is standing there, this malformed freak of nature, stark naked in front of me, with his arms outstretched, reciting some risible prayer/poem thing about 'May the gods of the mountain smile down on your buffalo' or some shit (it wasn't that, but it was along those lines) and I am sitting on his carpet and his tackle is centimeters from my face. Deliberately, I think.
Anyway, 'it' was gigantic.
Later, my mate climbs into bed with him and I hear them having sex (I am in a sleeping bag on the floor by his bed). Then a little while later he slithers down to me and (as we used to say in the 80s/90s) starts groping me. These days you people would call it a serious sexual assault and encourage me to believe my life is ruined.
Anyway, I let him know it wasn't going to happen and my friend and I left him alone and sat in his kitchen drinking black coffee till she felt she was sober enough to risk driving us home. His motorbike was too small for her anyway, as she is a shade under 6'.
Some years later I was at university doing anatomy and physiology. Looked down at my lecture slides and saw a picture of the 'sensory homunculus'. I thought "bloody hell, it's HIM!".
Creepy little man.
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Hammer and Pickle
11:12 Sat Jul 18
Re: If you had the biggest penis in the world would you be a dick.
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You are going to get over this hump joe.
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joe royal
11:02 Sat Jul 18
Re: If you had the biggest penis in the world would you be a dick.
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With big airbags
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Hammer and Pickle
10:58 Sat Jul 18
Re: If you had the biggest penis in the world would you be a dick.
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Well, I can confirm that joe likes to bowl in with a big articulated vehicle.
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joe royal
10:52 Sat Jul 18
Re: If you had the biggest penis in the world would you be a dick.
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No I'm not
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Hammer and Pickle
10:50 Sat Jul 18
Re: If you had the biggest penis in the world would you be a dick.
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No, I wasn't talking to you, you massive woofter.
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HairySpotter
10:47 Sat Jul 18
Re: If you had the biggest penis in the world would you be a dick.
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ah, I see that was aimed at the other Hairy
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HairySpotter
10:47 Sat Jul 18
Re: If you had the biggest penis in the world would you be a dick.
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No drug taking this evening. just love to bring up my mates appendage whenever I can.
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Hammer and Pickle
10:46 Sat Jul 18
Re: If you had the biggest penis in the world would you be a dick.
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Hairy, would you like to divulge the specific nature of the narcotics with which you have been dabbling this evening?
Or just come out of the closet like a good chap?
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HairySpotter
10:45 Sat Jul 18
Re: If you had the biggest penis in the world would you be a dick.
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Nurse Ratched 10:21 Sat Jul 18
Seeing as you didn't like the 'owner', how comes you got to see it?
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bruuuno
10:42 Sat Jul 18
Re: If you had the biggest penis in the world would you be a dick.
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Well funny you should mention it...
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HairySpotter
10:41 Sat Jul 18
Re: If you had the biggest penis in the world would you be a dick.
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A friend of mine is fucking enormous, half the birds he used to pull were out of sheer curiosity and the ones that didn't know would have a face like a rabbit in the headlights the next morning.
Could have made a fortune in porn we all reckon but he always used to just laugh it off when it was suggested.
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cholo
10:40 Sat Jul 18
Re: If you had the biggest penis in the world would you be a dick.
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Nurse
I'm not really that vile when you get to know me.
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